Wednesday, 08 February 2012

  • So strange. I'm eating. Including carbs (gasp!)... I'm purging, but not everything. Just an occasional binge/purge every few days.

    And yet I seem to be maintaining my weight.

    This is a new concept for me. Except during plateaus during loss, I've always been in a constant state of EITHER loss or GAIN. 

    Honestly, I weigh 157 - I have lost 106 lbs - and I find my loose skin offputting. But in clothing... People see me now. I'm not invisible.

    I really want to lose ... at least 8 more pounds. 8lbs would put me into the "average" BMI category at 149. And 149 would signify me being closer to 100 than to 200...which is a big deal for me. 

    I don't think eight pounds is an awful lot more to ask for, is it?

    Will I just want more when I get there...?

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

  •  

    I am doing it. I am. And I have only purged *once* out of anxiety lately. So I am really accomplishing this myself. I am in awe.

     

    My size 12's are big. I tried on a 10 at the mall and it fit. I tried on an 8 I have at home, it was about an inch from closing. The first thing that popped into my head when the 8's almost fit was, "I wonder how quickly I can get into a size 6?"

     

    166 this morning.

     

    I have 2 weeks (approximately) until my birthday. I would like to lose 3 more pounds, bringing me to the 100-pounds lost mark, by then. My goal was 100 lbs by my birthday. I still have PLENTY of time to lose 3 measly little pounds. If I've lost 97 already...what's three more?


Friday, 02 September 2011

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

  • I have to lose 28 pounds to be 'average' weight. I'm only 28 pounds overweight. Drastic improvement from 114lbs overweight like before...I can lose 28 pounds. I have already done it three times over. One more time. I only have to do this one. More. Time.

Monday, 22 August 2011

  • 177
     
    I have literally lost all will and desire to eat again. For the last 
    three days, I've had to force myself to eat even once a day. As 
    cool as that sounds, I'm worried cause I've been working, and I've 
    had no energy at work. But I can't make myself interested in food... 
    Nothing smells good, tastes good, looks vaguely appetizing, even. 
    Even my diet soda is starting to bore me. Right now I just kind of 
    feel like... like I'm just 'over' it. Like I'm 'over' the idea of eating. 
    Does that make any sense? I'm forcing myself to drink water, even. 
    Having trouble staying hydrated because I just don't want to 
    put anything in my mouth.

EmptinessIsFillingMe

  • Visit EmptinessIsFillingMe's Xanga Site
    • Name: EmptinessIsFillingMe
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/3/2005
Goals:
[x] Get my AA in January
[ ] Get into new school for my BA
[ ] MOVE
[x] Get a Job
[ ] Get a Non-Seasonal Job
[ ] Driver's License
[x] Under 260 lbs
[x] Under 250 lbs
[x] Under 240 lbs
[x] Under 230 lbs
[x] Under 220 lbs
[x] Under 210 lbs
[x] Under 200 lbs
[ ] Under 190 lbs
[ ] Under 180 lbs
[ ] Under 170 lbs
[ ] CROSS THE -100 POUND MARK
[ ] Under 160 lbs
[ ] Under 150 lbs
[ ] Read 52 books in 2011
[x] 5 [x] 10 [ ] 15 [ ] 20 [ ] 25 [ ] 30 [ ] 35 [ ] 40 [ ] 45 [ ] 50 [ ] 52